SAYA, SUATU KETIKA
Pernah ada waktunya saya jadi desainer idealis yang cinta mati sama desain grafis, yakin banget kalo desain grafis adalah satu-satunya bidang yang bisa bikin saya bahagia. Karenanya, saya di saat itu punya cita-cita untuk jadi salah satu desainer legendaris yang dikenal karena karya dari rumah desainnya dan diundang untuk jadi pembicara di mana-mana untuk membagi ilmu. Itu adalah gambaran masa depan yang sempurna buat saya masa itu. Jadi merujuk cita-cita di masa depan, saya rajin ikut menyatakan pendapat di forum desain, berkenalan dengan para senior, jadi dosen tamu, bahkan pembicara kecil-kecilan di even-even desain grafis. Senang sekali, karena saya fokus hanya pada satu bidang, desain grafis. Selain bidang itu, semuanya nomor dua, termasuk keluarga sendiri.
MEMULAI USAHA SENDIRI
Dan kemudian saya bertemu suami saya, dengan siapa saya memulai usaha desain bareng. Karena masih ingin konsisten menjadi desainer legendaris, saya selalu berusaha untuk membuat karya sempurna dengan standar untuk kejuaraan desain. Dan... selamat datang di dunia nyata.... ngga banyak klien menghargai itu. Yang punya uang banyak untuk membayar, nilai seninya mati. Buat dia yang penting cepat selesai dan tepat waktu. Ada klien yang nyeni, tapi bayarannnya ngga begitu besar dan maunya banyak. Ngga ada tuh yang namanya klien sempurna, karena standar sempurna tiap orang kan beda-beda.
Saya serasa dibangunkan dari mimpi tentang dunia desain utopis yang selama ini saya lihat dengan kacamata pelangi. Sebelumnya saya selalu menilai sebuah desain hanya dari nilai estetisnya semata. Apakah tipografinya bagus? Apakah semuanya berpadu dengan sempurna? Apakah wananya unik? Estetis semata pertimbangannya. Sayangnya dalam bisnis, bukan faktor-faktor itu saja yang jadi penentu. Ironisnya malah seringkali faktor-faktor itu tidak diperhitungkan. Lebih penting, kamu kenal siapa, dan bagaimana kamu 'menjual' diri kamu. Saya juga menganalisa beberapa perusahaan desain yang sudah besar. Fakta membuktikan, mereka yang maju lebih disebabkan karena mereka pandai menjual peusahaannya, daripada berkarya bagus. Reality bites, mendesain jauh beda dengan berbisnis desain. Kesimpulannya, menjadi legendaris tidak identik dengan menjadi makmur. Padahal saya juga mau makmur, malah mungkin lebih tertarik menjadi makmur.
MENCINTAI PEKERJAAN SAYA
Setelah melewati proses yang panjang dan penuh pergumulan antara Idealisme versus Realisme, saya akhirnya jadi menikmati proses menjalankan bisnis, lebih tepatnya menjual karya saya. Saya menyukai proses bagaimana memperoleh kepercayaan klien dengan presentasi portfolio, membantu bisnis mereka, dan melayani mereka sebaik mungkin. Ketika klien yang sama memesan lagi, saat itu saya merasa telah berhasil, berarti mereka puas dengan kerja kami. Saya jadi merasa dibayar untuk bersenang-senang.
BERUSAHA MEWUJUDKAN CITA-CITA LAMA
Setelah dua tahun vakum dari kegiatan desain, saya kangen untuk bergabung lagi dengan organisasi desain. Kekangenan itu didasari oleh nostalgia masa lalu, bagaimana saya bahagia berkecimpung secara aktif di dunia desain grafis. Maka bergabunglah saya dengan segera saat seorang teman mengajak saya bergabung dengan salah satu kepanitiaan even desain. Harusnya saya bahagia dengan kegiatan ini. Toh ini seperti mewujudkan cita-cita lama saya, menjadi desainer grafis yang idealis berkarya untuk dunia desain. Tapi mendadak saja saya menemukan ide bisnis yang baru. Saya antusias sekali dengan ide ini. Saking antusiasnya, minggu ini kami berkeliling untuk mencari cara mewujudkan ide ini. Sekarang ide ini masih dalam proses.
Lucunya antusiasme saya mewujudkan ide ini langsung mematikan keinginan saya untuk berorganisasi. Saya sempat heran dengan mudahnya minat saya akan organisasi ini menguap. Ini kan cita-cita saya sejak dulu. Bahkan saking gembiranya saya akan berorganisasi, saya sampai menuliskan di blog ini. Tapi yang ada sekarang hanya keinginan untuk keluar segera supaya bisa fokus dengan ide baru. Aneh kan...
SAYA, SEKARANG
Hari ini saya sadar, saya telah berubah. Kesenangan saya dulu bukan kesenangan saya sekarang. Berkarya untuk kegiatan sosial bukan minat saya yang sesungguhnya. Saya lebih suka berkarya mewujudkan ide saya sendiri, dan menghasilkan uang dari ide saya itu. Rasanya seperti menantang diri sendiri, membuat nyata sesuatu yang tadinya abstrak, dan dihargai karena itu. Saya sudah punya rumah desain yang seperti itu. Saya mau satu lagi, untuk membuktikan diri saya.
Lucunya saya juga jadi sadar penyebab sumber frustasi saya selama ini. Saya selalu merasa bersalah karena merasa senang memperoleh bayaran buat desain yang menurut saya standar. Saya seperti memarahi diri sendiri, koq kamu turun level sih merasa senang buat karya yang biasa-biasa saja. Saya tidak mau menerima kalo saya sudah berubah. Lebih tepatnya ukuran kebahagiaan saya. Saya yang sekarang mencintai tak hanya proses berkarya itu saja, melainkan juga proses bagaimana menjual karya saya itu. Makanya saya ngga terlalu niat bikin karya-karya buat diri sendiri yang tidak bisa dijual. Saya suka desain saya kalo bisa dijual. Bodohnya juga saya baru ingat, kalau SMA dulu juga saya senang membuat gambar karena gambar itu bisa dijual. Dan saya sekarang lagi tertarik untuk mencoba banyak hal baru, di luar desain grafis. Sepertinya asyik tuh, mencoba dunia yang baru.
Makanya bergabung dengan sebuah organisasi sama sekali tidak mengakomodasi keinginan saya itu.
Makanya saya langsung pindah ke lain hati...
Yahhh, saya emang komersil banget sih... Dari dulu sebenarnya... Cuma baru ngaku sekarang.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Screw You!
Duhhh, bilang aja deh saya ngga tau terima kasih, tapi tinggal di rumah ini, terutama gara-gara satu orang itu, bikin saya stress. Dari pagi buta TV udah nyala. Mending kalo emang ditonton. Seringkali dinyalain terus ditinggal, atau orang ngobrol atau telepon sementara TV bunyi. Yahhh... dari sana udah bisa ketauan orang-orangnya kaya apa. Dangkal dan ngga ada pikiran. Kerjaannya kalo engga ngurusin judi bola, maen mahjong, makan enak apa hari ini. Padahal udah ngga ada pemasukan dan kalo ngomong seolah-olah duitnya masih banyak kaya dulu. Belum lagi kalo ngga sengaja ngedenger omongannya, males banget deh... Serba ngga penting dan seringkali saya heran banget, koq bisa ada orang bego gitu bisa hidup dengan selamat sampai hari ini.
Stress stress stres...
Stress stress stres...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
FIVE Stars
It's crazycrazycrazy to agree finishing 4 books only in one and a half months. My photographer client was very busy that he just dissapeared for a month only to come again to us, already in panic mode, hoping us can manage to finish them all. The books must be finished with 4 different styles. One of them has already been 75% finished. But my load added by the wedding book set that contain 4 books in one style. So I run, run, and run from the mid of January to today. I have a dark circle around my eyes just got blackened, a backpain, and a sore palm.
But I finished my target! And if I can give my works stars, I proudly give them FIVE, in terms of design quality, pace, emotion, and determination. Honestly, I didn't expect my books have this quality since the time is really tight. But, God bless me, I can manage to wrap them up at their best.
My latest wedding book, so far are the best from all I've designed. It's the factor of experiences and the ability to control my emotion, concentration, and time management that count. Furthermore, I also realize that my standard keep up, and up, that make me sooo hard to please. I have to deal better with my perfectionism for more reasonable equation between the fee and time spent.
During this crazy period, I can't perform well as a wife. But he understands the situation by being patient, keeping my emotion good, accompanied me to a meeting and then picked me up when I finished, even ironing a pile of clothes that should be my job to finish. And before we sleep, he massage my back and my hand. So, BIG THANKS to my hubby, for being the greatest supporter during the crazy times, he also gets FIVE stars!
But I finished my target! And if I can give my works stars, I proudly give them FIVE, in terms of design quality, pace, emotion, and determination. Honestly, I didn't expect my books have this quality since the time is really tight. But, God bless me, I can manage to wrap them up at their best.
My latest wedding book, so far are the best from all I've designed. It's the factor of experiences and the ability to control my emotion, concentration, and time management that count. Furthermore, I also realize that my standard keep up, and up, that make me sooo hard to please. I have to deal better with my perfectionism for more reasonable equation between the fee and time spent.
During this crazy period, I can't perform well as a wife. But he understands the situation by being patient, keeping my emotion good, accompanied me to a meeting and then picked me up when I finished, even ironing a pile of clothes that should be my job to finish. And before we sleep, he massage my back and my hand. So, BIG THANKS to my hubby, for being the greatest supporter during the crazy times, he also gets FIVE stars!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Good Thing or Bad Thing?
Masih cukup jelas di ingatan kejadian yang bikin saya sebel sama dia sampai sekarang. Waktu itu jam 9 pagi, saya baru bangun tidur. Masih setengah sadar, saya duduk di sebelah dia sambil menghirup kopi, buat 'nampar' saya bangun. Di TV lagi ada acara bincang-bincang tentang kewiraswastaan yang dipandu Dian Sastro. Tiba-tiba dia nanya ke saya,
"Kamu bisa ngga tuh ngomong kaya Dian gitu?"
(Maksud dia public speaking, gitu...)
"Yahhh, tergantung topiknya apa dulu... Kalo ngga tau mau ngomong apa,"
(Masih males, baru bangun tidur udah ditanya-tanya hal-hal macam itu.)
"Misalkan topiknya kamu tau, gimana."
(Nada nanyanya udah ngga niat, saya udah tau actually dia mau cerita sesuatu, bukan nanya)
"Ngga masalah kalo gitu."
(Udah ngga niat juga jawabnya, habis nanyanya juga ngga niat)
"Kalo si A bisa loh, dia sering ngomong di depan gitu."
(Ohhhhhhhh, jadi maksudnya mau banggain si A, anaknya... Ngerti-ngerti...)
Yahhh Pa... Kalo mau banggain anaknya mah banggain aja. Ngga usah pake banding-bandingin gitu kali. Maksudnya apa, mau mastiin saya ngga bisa, jadi anaknya lebih hebat gitu? Kalau saya mau koar-koar, saya juga bisa bilang, saya pernah jadi wakil wisudawan yang pidato di depan 900 orang dan semua memberikan pujian buat pidato saya saat saya turun dari podium. Saya juga bisa cerita, kalau saya bisa memenangkan tender desain tanpa bawa desain karena presentasi saya saja. Saya sih ngga mau mengarah ke anaknya. Anaknya baik, saya ngga ada masalah dengan dia. Bapaknya? Amit-amit... Saya heran orang model gitu bisa lewat survival. Harusnya udah punah dari dulu.
Rasa sebel ini ada sejarahnya sih. Ngga cuma kejadian ini aja. Banyak kelakuan hari-hari dia yang bikin mual. Jadi ini cuma puncaknya, saat saya memutuskan untuk menjadikan dia my biggest enemy. Pokoknya di mata saya, dia cacat apa adanya.
But then, rasa sebel karena merasa dikecilkan itu mendorong saya untuk berpikir. Emang sih, saya lagi payah waktu itu. Selain kerja, kerja, dan kerja, apa yang saya punya? Keluar jarang, tampang berantakan, ngerjainnya cuma desain melulu. Jadi nerdy, ngga gaul, ngga belajar lagi hal yang baru. Pantesan aja saya direndahin kaya gitu. Yah walaupun bukan jaminan orang kaya gitu bisa ngehargain orang lain, anyway anyhow, kejadian itu bikin saya mau upgrade diri saya lagi, ngga mau tenggelam dalam stagnasi.
Jadilah saya menyusun resolusi tahun baru saya. Saya mencantumkan hal-hal yang mau saya tingkatkan atau saya pelajari. Saya bertekad, tahun ini ngga boleh cuma kecapean kerja, harus belajar sesuatu, harus punya sesuatu yang baru. Dan saya sekarang cukup senang dengan kondisi saya. Forget the financial burden that now faced by most people in the world, saya sudah berhasil mewujudkan beberapa dari resolusi saya itu. Misalnya sekarang saya sudah mengajar kembali, sudah bergabung dengan organisasi, dan dapat teman baru. Saya juga bisa menyediakan waktu bersosialisasi dengan teman-teman lama saya, walaupun ngga sering-sering amat. Selain itu, saya juga akan mengambil kursus menulis tengah taun ini. Saya hampir saja bisa memenuhi salah satu resolusi saya untuk membuat buku desain Indonesia, kalau saya tidak membelot ke promosi. But, no regrets, karena setelah saya pikir lagi, maksud saya untuk membuat buku desain Indonesia adalah bukan sebagai desainer saja, tapi konseptornya, malah penulisnya.
Ternyata, ngga cuma positive encouragement yang bisa bikin orang bergerak. Tapi juga negative insult. Hahaha, setelah saya ingat-ingat, dulu saya juga bisa mendesain dengan excellent justru di saat bos saya menyatakan ketidakpercayaan pada kemampuan saya. Saya jadi ingat buku Thick Face Black Heart karangan Chin Ning Chu. Di buku itu diajarkan kalau kita marah atau sakit hati, tak perlu repot-repot berusaha mengubahnya jadi energi positif seperti yang banyak ditulis di psikologi barat. Itu sangat menghabiskan energi (mungkin dalam bentuk rasa bersalah karena jadi jahat). Buku itu malah menyarankan untuk menggunakan energi negatif itu untuk mendorong dan memotivasi. Dan inilah yang terjadi pada saya. Menjadi lebih baik justru karena direndahkan.
Nah kalau begitu, apa yang telah dilakukan oleh bapak menyebalkan itu, is good thing, or a bad thing?
"Kamu bisa ngga tuh ngomong kaya Dian gitu?"
(Maksud dia public speaking, gitu...)
"Yahhh, tergantung topiknya apa dulu... Kalo ngga tau mau ngomong apa,"
(Masih males, baru bangun tidur udah ditanya-tanya hal-hal macam itu.)
"Misalkan topiknya kamu tau, gimana."
(Nada nanyanya udah ngga niat, saya udah tau actually dia mau cerita sesuatu, bukan nanya)
"Ngga masalah kalo gitu."
(Udah ngga niat juga jawabnya, habis nanyanya juga ngga niat)
"Kalo si A bisa loh, dia sering ngomong di depan gitu."
(Ohhhhhhhh, jadi maksudnya mau banggain si A, anaknya... Ngerti-ngerti...)
Yahhh Pa... Kalo mau banggain anaknya mah banggain aja. Ngga usah pake banding-bandingin gitu kali. Maksudnya apa, mau mastiin saya ngga bisa, jadi anaknya lebih hebat gitu? Kalau saya mau koar-koar, saya juga bisa bilang, saya pernah jadi wakil wisudawan yang pidato di depan 900 orang dan semua memberikan pujian buat pidato saya saat saya turun dari podium. Saya juga bisa cerita, kalau saya bisa memenangkan tender desain tanpa bawa desain karena presentasi saya saja. Saya sih ngga mau mengarah ke anaknya. Anaknya baik, saya ngga ada masalah dengan dia. Bapaknya? Amit-amit... Saya heran orang model gitu bisa lewat survival. Harusnya udah punah dari dulu.
Rasa sebel ini ada sejarahnya sih. Ngga cuma kejadian ini aja. Banyak kelakuan hari-hari dia yang bikin mual. Jadi ini cuma puncaknya, saat saya memutuskan untuk menjadikan dia my biggest enemy. Pokoknya di mata saya, dia cacat apa adanya.
But then, rasa sebel karena merasa dikecilkan itu mendorong saya untuk berpikir. Emang sih, saya lagi payah waktu itu. Selain kerja, kerja, dan kerja, apa yang saya punya? Keluar jarang, tampang berantakan, ngerjainnya cuma desain melulu. Jadi nerdy, ngga gaul, ngga belajar lagi hal yang baru. Pantesan aja saya direndahin kaya gitu. Yah walaupun bukan jaminan orang kaya gitu bisa ngehargain orang lain, anyway anyhow, kejadian itu bikin saya mau upgrade diri saya lagi, ngga mau tenggelam dalam stagnasi.
Jadilah saya menyusun resolusi tahun baru saya. Saya mencantumkan hal-hal yang mau saya tingkatkan atau saya pelajari. Saya bertekad, tahun ini ngga boleh cuma kecapean kerja, harus belajar sesuatu, harus punya sesuatu yang baru. Dan saya sekarang cukup senang dengan kondisi saya. Forget the financial burden that now faced by most people in the world, saya sudah berhasil mewujudkan beberapa dari resolusi saya itu. Misalnya sekarang saya sudah mengajar kembali, sudah bergabung dengan organisasi, dan dapat teman baru. Saya juga bisa menyediakan waktu bersosialisasi dengan teman-teman lama saya, walaupun ngga sering-sering amat. Selain itu, saya juga akan mengambil kursus menulis tengah taun ini. Saya hampir saja bisa memenuhi salah satu resolusi saya untuk membuat buku desain Indonesia, kalau saya tidak membelot ke promosi. But, no regrets, karena setelah saya pikir lagi, maksud saya untuk membuat buku desain Indonesia adalah bukan sebagai desainer saja, tapi konseptornya, malah penulisnya.
Ternyata, ngga cuma positive encouragement yang bisa bikin orang bergerak. Tapi juga negative insult. Hahaha, setelah saya ingat-ingat, dulu saya juga bisa mendesain dengan excellent justru di saat bos saya menyatakan ketidakpercayaan pada kemampuan saya. Saya jadi ingat buku Thick Face Black Heart karangan Chin Ning Chu. Di buku itu diajarkan kalau kita marah atau sakit hati, tak perlu repot-repot berusaha mengubahnya jadi energi positif seperti yang banyak ditulis di psikologi barat. Itu sangat menghabiskan energi (mungkin dalam bentuk rasa bersalah karena jadi jahat). Buku itu malah menyarankan untuk menggunakan energi negatif itu untuk mendorong dan memotivasi. Dan inilah yang terjadi pada saya. Menjadi lebih baik justru karena direndahkan.
Nah kalau begitu, apa yang telah dilakukan oleh bapak menyebalkan itu, is good thing, or a bad thing?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Leaving My Comfort Zone
Salah satu target saya di tahun 2009 ini adalah bergabung dengan organisasi. Amazingly, kesempatan itu datang dengan sendirinya. Bekas teman kantor saya telepon, mengajak saya bergabung ke kepanitian yang akan dibentuk untuk menyelenggarakan sebuah kompetisi prestisius di bidang desain. Karena memang saya ada niatan ke sana, happily, I accepted the opportunity.
Jabatan saya adalah Koordinator Desain, katanya. Kemudian saya ketahui, kalau saya diajak memang untuk kapabilitas saya. Yang merekomendasikan adalah seorang desainer grafis yang cukup kawakan di States, yang menjadi salah satu instigator event ini. Singkatnya bisa saya katakan, dia ngga percaya desainer lain selain saya.
Lucunya saat rapat pertama, malah ditawarkan untuk pindah ke bagian Promosi, karena tak ada orang di sana. Bahkan seksi itupun baru dibentuk karena saya yang terus bertanya, bagaimana desain bisa mengerjakan sesuatu jika tak ada konsep promosinya. Suami saya senang dengan jabatan saya yang baru ini. Bagus buat networking, katanya, mengingat kami perlu memperluas relasi untuk memberi makan "bayi" kami, perusahaan desain kami.
Tapi kemudian, desainer yang merekomendasikan saya itu berusaha menarik saya kembali ke bagian desain. Begitu juga ketua panitianya. Saya sadar, actually, my niche is designing. I know nothing about promoting. Should I come back? Tapi seksi promosi juga menarik, ketidaktahuan itu, somehow, exciting... and challenging...Dan saya jadi pusing, berantem antara idealisme saya yang sebenernya memang lebih nyaman di seksi desain dan bikin portfolio bagus daripada mempelajari area yang sama sekali baru buat saya.
Dan seperti Hamlet yang terus terperangkap dalam keragu-raguannya, saya mumet tak mampu mengambil pilihan. Stress, takut salah langkah. But then, thanks to my hubby with his boldness. He said this,
"Ngapain kamu desain? Belum saatnya kita ber'amal' seperti itu. Jangan samain kita sama si A, atau si B yang sudah mapan, punya pegwai dan bisnis yang mantap." katanya.
Saya mengerti banget sih poin dia. Belum saatnya... Sekarang setiap waktu saya harus dialokasikan dengan efisien dan efektif, untuk kemajuan usaha kami. Maksud dia adalah, kami harus mendapat manfaat yang aligned dengan misi kami itu. Jadilah akhirnya saya masuk ke seksi promosi.
Dan sekarang, walaupun masih sedikit ngeri dengan ketidaktahuan saya, perasaan saya sudah mantap bahwa pilihan saya benar. Lagipula... setelah dipikir-pikir, harus mendesain lagi untuk amal, rasanya males juga setelah hampir selalu overload dengan kerjaan desain sendiri.
Jabatan saya adalah Koordinator Desain, katanya. Kemudian saya ketahui, kalau saya diajak memang untuk kapabilitas saya. Yang merekomendasikan adalah seorang desainer grafis yang cukup kawakan di States, yang menjadi salah satu instigator event ini. Singkatnya bisa saya katakan, dia ngga percaya desainer lain selain saya.
Lucunya saat rapat pertama, malah ditawarkan untuk pindah ke bagian Promosi, karena tak ada orang di sana. Bahkan seksi itupun baru dibentuk karena saya yang terus bertanya, bagaimana desain bisa mengerjakan sesuatu jika tak ada konsep promosinya. Suami saya senang dengan jabatan saya yang baru ini. Bagus buat networking, katanya, mengingat kami perlu memperluas relasi untuk memberi makan "bayi" kami, perusahaan desain kami.
Tapi kemudian, desainer yang merekomendasikan saya itu berusaha menarik saya kembali ke bagian desain. Begitu juga ketua panitianya. Saya sadar, actually, my niche is designing. I know nothing about promoting. Should I come back? Tapi seksi promosi juga menarik, ketidaktahuan itu, somehow, exciting... and challenging...Dan saya jadi pusing, berantem antara idealisme saya yang sebenernya memang lebih nyaman di seksi desain dan bikin portfolio bagus daripada mempelajari area yang sama sekali baru buat saya.
Dan seperti Hamlet yang terus terperangkap dalam keragu-raguannya, saya mumet tak mampu mengambil pilihan. Stress, takut salah langkah. But then, thanks to my hubby with his boldness. He said this,
"Ngapain kamu desain? Belum saatnya kita ber'amal' seperti itu. Jangan samain kita sama si A, atau si B yang sudah mapan, punya pegwai dan bisnis yang mantap." katanya.
Saya mengerti banget sih poin dia. Belum saatnya... Sekarang setiap waktu saya harus dialokasikan dengan efisien dan efektif, untuk kemajuan usaha kami. Maksud dia adalah, kami harus mendapat manfaat yang aligned dengan misi kami itu. Jadilah akhirnya saya masuk ke seksi promosi.
Dan sekarang, walaupun masih sedikit ngeri dengan ketidaktahuan saya, perasaan saya sudah mantap bahwa pilihan saya benar. Lagipula... setelah dipikir-pikir, harus mendesain lagi untuk amal, rasanya males juga setelah hampir selalu overload dengan kerjaan desain sendiri.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
The Idealist (INFP)
INFP–Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition)
As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves
INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.
Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.
INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.
INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.
INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.
INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.
INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.
INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Extraverted Intuition
Tertiary: Introverted Sensing
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking
CAREER
INFPs generally have the following traits:
Strong value systems
Warmly interested in people
Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above their own
Loyal and devoted to people and causes
Future-oriented
Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
Creative and inspirational
Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
Sensitive and complex
Dislike dealing with details and routine work
Original and individualistic - "out of the mainstream"
Excellent written communication skills
Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
Value deep and authentic relationships
Want to be seen and appreciated for who they are
The INFP is a special, sensitive individual who needs a career which is more than a job. The INFP needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The INFP will be happiest in careers which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards the greater good of humanity. It's worth mentioning that nearly all of the truly great writers in the world have been INFPs.
The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an INFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.
Possible Career Paths for the INFP:
Writers
Counselors / Social Workers
Teachers / Professors
Psychologists
Psychiatrists
Musicians
Clergy / Religious Workers
OTHER QUOTES
INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.
"To understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith..."
- The Portrait of a Healer Idealist (Keirsey)
"INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life."
- Portrait of an INFP (The Personality Page)
"creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings..."
- INFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)
"An INFP's feelings form the foundations of the individual. They are sacred and binding, in the sense that their emergence requires no further justification. An INFP's feelings are often guarded, kept safe from attack and ridicule. Only a few, close confidants are permitted entrance into this domain."
- INFP Profile (INFP Mailing List)
"Highly creative, artistic and spiritual, they can produce wonderful works of art, music and literature. INFPs are natural artists. They will find great satisfaction if they encourage and develop their artistic abilities. That doesn't mean that an INFP has to be a famous writer or painter in order to be content. Simply the act of "creating" will be a fulfilling source of renewal and refreshment to the INFP. An INFP should allow himself or herself some artistic outlet, because it will add enrichment and positive energy to their life."
- INFP Personal Growth (The Personality Page)
"INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glassworld where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities."
- INFP Profile (TypeLogic)
"Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time."
- INFP - The Dreamer (Lifexplore)
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition)
As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.
INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves
INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.
Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.
INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.
INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".
When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.
INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.
INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.
INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.
INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Extraverted Intuition
Tertiary: Introverted Sensing
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking
CAREER
INFPs generally have the following traits:
Strong value systems
Warmly interested in people
Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above their own
Loyal and devoted to people and causes
Future-oriented
Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
Creative and inspirational
Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
Sensitive and complex
Dislike dealing with details and routine work
Original and individualistic - "out of the mainstream"
Excellent written communication skills
Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
Value deep and authentic relationships
Want to be seen and appreciated for who they are
The INFP is a special, sensitive individual who needs a career which is more than a job. The INFP needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The INFP will be happiest in careers which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards the greater good of humanity. It's worth mentioning that nearly all of the truly great writers in the world have been INFPs.
The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an INFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.
Possible Career Paths for the INFP:
Writers
Counselors / Social Workers
Teachers / Professors
Psychologists
Psychiatrists
Musicians
Clergy / Religious Workers
OTHER QUOTES
INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.
"To understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith..."
- The Portrait of a Healer Idealist (Keirsey)
"INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life."
- Portrait of an INFP (The Personality Page)
"creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings..."
- INFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)
"An INFP's feelings form the foundations of the individual. They are sacred and binding, in the sense that their emergence requires no further justification. An INFP's feelings are often guarded, kept safe from attack and ridicule. Only a few, close confidants are permitted entrance into this domain."
- INFP Profile (INFP Mailing List)
"Highly creative, artistic and spiritual, they can produce wonderful works of art, music and literature. INFPs are natural artists. They will find great satisfaction if they encourage and develop their artistic abilities. That doesn't mean that an INFP has to be a famous writer or painter in order to be content. Simply the act of "creating" will be a fulfilling source of renewal and refreshment to the INFP. An INFP should allow himself or herself some artistic outlet, because it will add enrichment and positive energy to their life."
- INFP Personal Growth (The Personality Page)
"INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glassworld where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities."
- INFP Profile (TypeLogic)
"Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time."
- INFP - The Dreamer (Lifexplore)
Dreamy Idealist (DI)
Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative
Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.
For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important. As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.
As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.
introverted, theoretical, emotional, spontaneous, idealistic, dreamy, effusive, pleasant, reserved, friendly, passionate, loyal, perfectionist, helpful, creative, composed, curious, obstinate, with integrity, willing to make sacrifices, romantic, cautious, shy, peace-loving, vulnerable, sensitive, communicative, imaginative
Dreamy Idealists are very cautious and therefore often appear shy and reserved to others. They share their rich emotional life and their passionate convictions with very few people. But one would be very much mistaken to judge them to be cool and reserved. They have a pronounced inner system of values and clear, honourable principles for which they are willing to sacrifice a great deal. Joan of Arc or Sir Galahad would have been good examples of this personality type. Dreamy Idealists are always at great pains to improve the world. They can be very considerate towards others and do a lot to support them and stand up for them. They are interested in their fellow beings, attentive and generous towards them. Once their enthusiasm for an issue or person is aroused, they can become tireless fighters.
For Dreamy Idealists, practical things are not really so important. They only busy themselves with mundane everyday demands when absolutely necessary. They tend to live according to the motto “the genius controls the chaos” - which is normally the case so that they often have a very successful academic career. They are less interested in details; they prefer to look at something as a whole. This means that they still have a good overview even when things start to become hectic. However, as a result, it can occasionally happen that Dreamy Idealists overlook something important. As they are very peace-loving, they tend not to openly show their dissatisfaction or annoyance but to bottle it up. Assertiveness is not one of their strong points; they hate conflicts and competition. Dreamy Idealists prefer to motivate others with their amicable and enthusiastic nature. Whoever has them as superior will never have to complain about not being given enough praise.
As at work, Dreamy Idealists are helpful and loyal friends and partners, persons of integrity. Obligations are absolutely sacred to them. The feelings of others are important to them and they love making other people happy. They are satisfied with just a small circle of friends; their need for social contact is not very marked as they also need a lot of time to themselves. Superfluous small talk is not their thing. If one wishes to be friends with them or have a relationship with them, one would have to share their world of thought and be willing to participate in profound discussions. If you manage that you will be rewarded with an exceptionally intensive, rich partnership. Due to their high demands on themselves and others, this personality type tends however to sometimes overload the relationship with romantic and idealistic ideas to such an extent that the partner feels overtaxed or inferior. Dreamy Idealists do not fall in love head over heels but when they do fall in love they want this to be a great, eternal love.
IDEALIST Finding Meaning and Unique Identity
The most sensitive of the Idealists is the Healer (INFP). While their list of jobs may echo that of other Idealists, they are more drawn to express their own unique vision of the world that all other types, so their work cannot help but be unique. They interpret their visions in the world of music, art, entertainment, or dance. As a professor or teacher, counselor or social worker, they often unlock the mysteries of life for those they encounter. In business they are drawn to organizational development and human resources careers. They may have a religious calling or seek work as a librarian. Their careers need to be in alignment with their personal values. Says Kay, “I chose health education so I could touch the lives of others to help them make better choices about their lives. I know I’ve done some good.”
All Idealists seek to have a life of meaning, to help themselves and others grow to be the best that they can be. They do not want to be a copycat of someone else, but want to be seen as a unique and valuable individual.
All Idealists seek to have a life of meaning, to help themselves and others grow to be the best that they can be. They do not want to be a copycat of someone else, but want to be seen as a unique and valuable individual.
Idealist Portrait of the HEALER (INFP)–Part 01
Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they're anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.
Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.
At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.
Princess Diana, Richard Gere, Audrey Hephurn, Albert Schweiter, George Orwell, Karen Armstrong, Aldous Huxley, Mia Farrow", and Isabel Meyers are examples of a Healer Idealists.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.
Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.
At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.
Princess Diana, Richard Gere, Audrey Hephurn, Albert Schweiter, George Orwell, Karen Armstrong, Aldous Huxley, Mia Farrow", and Isabel Meyers are examples of a Healer Idealists.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Anybody Listen?
Kemaren, abis mandi malem, jam 10an, saya bikin desain buku. Kerjaan semi pro bono, buat seorang teman. Emang bayaran belum jelas. Judulnya membantu. Teman ini bukan maunya gretongan. Dia lagi cari dana. Karena masih dalam proses. Jumlah belum bisa dipastikan. Anyway anyhow, saya udah memutuskan untuk bantu. Jadi yah saya kerjain. Cuma jangan sampe ganggu projek yang dibayar. Makanya saya selipin, kerjain malem-malem, biarpun tangan udah lumayan pegel dan mau flu.
Sesudah cari-cari font, saya mau test print. Yang nyambung ke komputer versi printer deskjet. Kalau buat test huruf, deskjet ngga oke, karena bikin huruf gendut dan ngga akurat. Kalau hurufnya keliatan jelek, saya harus ganti font. Bukunya kaya novel, jadi keterbacaan penting. Makanya saya mau pindah ke laserjet aja. Lebih akurat.
Ini yang bikin dia marah. Katanya saya harus pakai deskjet, ngga boleh laserjet. Katanya ngga ada bedanya di mata dia. Katanya saya ngabisin duit. Terus merambat deh ke box contoh yang kita beli untuk mulai bisnis box. Katanya saya setengah-setengah.
Saya sakit hati. Saya udah jelasin, kenapa saya pakai laserjet. Dia ngga mau percaya. Saya ngga nuntut dia ngerti. Dia kan bukan desainer, mata dia emang ngga harus bisa ngebedain. Dia bilang terus kalau saya harus abisin tinta deskjet, boros kalau pakai laserjet. Saya sudah bilang, deskjet akan saya pakai buat proyek lain. Dia bilang ngga ada proyek lain yang bisa pakai laser walaupun saya sudah bilang kalau proyek buku lain yang saya kerjakan nantinya akan bisa pakai deskjet.
Saya sedih sekali karena dia memaksakan kehendaknya (selalu) dan ngga mau percaya sama penilaian saya.
Tapi saya lebih sakit hati sama tuduhan dia kalau saya mengerjakan bisnis box saya setengah-setengah. Once pulang dari ngobrol sama temen kita, owner percetakan, dia nanya ke saya, mau fokus ke box atau digital print. Saya bilang kan bisa jalanin dua-duanya. Dia bilang ngga bisa, saya harus milih. Akhirnya saya milih digital printing. 'Oke, kita fokus di sana.'
Saya kan jadi ngga mikir box lagi. Tiba-tiba, dia bertindak menghakimi saya seperti itu. Menyakitkan sekali. Saya jadi ingat janji dia untuk menindaklanjuti bisnis digital print untuk bertanya ke salah satu franchiser digital print. Itu juga belum dia kerjain. Sibuk? Engga pastinya. Dia punya koq berjam-jam untuk main game komputer.
Sekarang siapa yang setengah-setengah?
Saya sudah capek sebenernya. Abis ini udah kesekian kalinya saya dicari-cari terus kesalahannya. Ada yang salah sama matanya, yang dia liat selalu kurangnya terus.
Kalau meja penuh tumpukan buku dan kertas, yang dia liat saya berantakan, bukan berapa banyaknya desain yang saya kerjakan, dan berapa tenaga dan pikiran yang saya kerahkan untuk menghasilkan uang buat kita berdua. Sama seperti masalah printer, yang dia liat saya buang uang buat tintanya, ngga dia liat berapa banyak yang saya hasilkan dari 'ngebuang' tinta itu. Mama dan adiknya berulang kali bilang saya kumel sekarang. Yah gimana ngga kumel, tidur kurang, ke salon jarang, baju setaun cuma beli 2 kali, itu juga diskonan.
Ngga pernah tuh saya denger dia bilang, terima kasih buat semua kerja kerasnya. Tapi kalau ada yang salah, dia terdepan buat menyampaikan kritik.
Capek, capek, capek... Saya sih ngga marah, cuma capek dan sedih sekali karena merasa ngga dihargai. Dan ngga bisa ngomong siap-siapa. Masa ngomong ke mamanya sendiri? Sejelek-jeleknya, dia anaknay sendiri. Mamanya sih baik, kalau kita lagi berantem gini, dia pasti mastiin saya makan, dan dia baik-baikin saya. Curhat ke papa mama atau adik saya juga enggalah... Ntar pas marahnya lewat, mereka ntar tetep punya image buruk tentang dia.
Yah ditelan aja sendiri. Lagian, dia lelaki yang SAYA pilih buat suami. Bagus jeleknya yah tanggung jawab saya.
Sesudah cari-cari font, saya mau test print. Yang nyambung ke komputer versi printer deskjet. Kalau buat test huruf, deskjet ngga oke, karena bikin huruf gendut dan ngga akurat. Kalau hurufnya keliatan jelek, saya harus ganti font. Bukunya kaya novel, jadi keterbacaan penting. Makanya saya mau pindah ke laserjet aja. Lebih akurat.
Ini yang bikin dia marah. Katanya saya harus pakai deskjet, ngga boleh laserjet. Katanya ngga ada bedanya di mata dia. Katanya saya ngabisin duit. Terus merambat deh ke box contoh yang kita beli untuk mulai bisnis box. Katanya saya setengah-setengah.
Saya sakit hati. Saya udah jelasin, kenapa saya pakai laserjet. Dia ngga mau percaya. Saya ngga nuntut dia ngerti. Dia kan bukan desainer, mata dia emang ngga harus bisa ngebedain. Dia bilang terus kalau saya harus abisin tinta deskjet, boros kalau pakai laserjet. Saya sudah bilang, deskjet akan saya pakai buat proyek lain. Dia bilang ngga ada proyek lain yang bisa pakai laser walaupun saya sudah bilang kalau proyek buku lain yang saya kerjakan nantinya akan bisa pakai deskjet.
Saya sedih sekali karena dia memaksakan kehendaknya (selalu) dan ngga mau percaya sama penilaian saya.
Tapi saya lebih sakit hati sama tuduhan dia kalau saya mengerjakan bisnis box saya setengah-setengah. Once pulang dari ngobrol sama temen kita, owner percetakan, dia nanya ke saya, mau fokus ke box atau digital print. Saya bilang kan bisa jalanin dua-duanya. Dia bilang ngga bisa, saya harus milih. Akhirnya saya milih digital printing. 'Oke, kita fokus di sana.'
Saya kan jadi ngga mikir box lagi. Tiba-tiba, dia bertindak menghakimi saya seperti itu. Menyakitkan sekali. Saya jadi ingat janji dia untuk menindaklanjuti bisnis digital print untuk bertanya ke salah satu franchiser digital print. Itu juga belum dia kerjain. Sibuk? Engga pastinya. Dia punya koq berjam-jam untuk main game komputer.
Sekarang siapa yang setengah-setengah?
Saya sudah capek sebenernya. Abis ini udah kesekian kalinya saya dicari-cari terus kesalahannya. Ada yang salah sama matanya, yang dia liat selalu kurangnya terus.
Kalau meja penuh tumpukan buku dan kertas, yang dia liat saya berantakan, bukan berapa banyaknya desain yang saya kerjakan, dan berapa tenaga dan pikiran yang saya kerahkan untuk menghasilkan uang buat kita berdua. Sama seperti masalah printer, yang dia liat saya buang uang buat tintanya, ngga dia liat berapa banyak yang saya hasilkan dari 'ngebuang' tinta itu. Mama dan adiknya berulang kali bilang saya kumel sekarang. Yah gimana ngga kumel, tidur kurang, ke salon jarang, baju setaun cuma beli 2 kali, itu juga diskonan.
Ngga pernah tuh saya denger dia bilang, terima kasih buat semua kerja kerasnya. Tapi kalau ada yang salah, dia terdepan buat menyampaikan kritik.
Capek, capek, capek... Saya sih ngga marah, cuma capek dan sedih sekali karena merasa ngga dihargai. Dan ngga bisa ngomong siap-siapa. Masa ngomong ke mamanya sendiri? Sejelek-jeleknya, dia anaknay sendiri. Mamanya sih baik, kalau kita lagi berantem gini, dia pasti mastiin saya makan, dan dia baik-baikin saya. Curhat ke papa mama atau adik saya juga enggalah... Ntar pas marahnya lewat, mereka ntar tetep punya image buruk tentang dia.
Yah ditelan aja sendiri. Lagian, dia lelaki yang SAYA pilih buat suami. Bagus jeleknya yah tanggung jawab saya.
