The Most Dangerous Poison in The World

This poison... it's very toxicating, can corrupt your mind, blur your vision so all you can see only the dark side of the story, burn you in envy, agressively blame others for your own misfortunes, consume your happiness, blind the ability to feel love, and the worst of all, make you stop doing anything that can improve your life.

Can you name it?

It's called Negatif Thinking.

People toxicated by it have the following symptoms: Frequently whine and take a pity of themselves. They also easily jealous of others achievement, get their happiness of other's fall & failure.

Okay, okay. I get it. How did you know this poison? Have you ever met those kind of people?

Yes, of course, many of them. Sometimes I can be one of them, toxicated so bad that I hate myself.

I Know He Loves Me...

I know he loves me everytime he hands me vitamins and a glass of water to drink.
(He wants to keep me healthy).

I know he loves me when he punched me limes when I had a very bad cough.
(He spend his time to do it to get rid of my cough).

I know he loves me when he said I'm pretty
(He always says that no matter how bad I looked).

I know he loves me when he drived three hours journey to my hometown so I can attend my uncle's funeral.
(He said he was tired the day before, but it's what he's done for me).

I know he loves me when he shows his deeply affections to me openly.
(He assure me I'm the most important person for him).

And I know he loves me most when he changes his twenty nine years habit so I don't get hurt.
(He's perfect for me with all his imperfections!)

Bad Bad Bad

There are several things happen that I can't hardly tolerate till now. One of them is a client with a bad taste. I'm currently workin on this photographer's book. Personally, I like this guy. He is funny, easy going, and very kind. But in the matter of taste, omg, I hate this guy! When we first met, we've already discussed a plan to improve his existing book design, which's done in a very crowded and photoshop art by some design college students. The presentation doesn't show neither exclusivity nor elegant look, just the way he expected.

But I then realize that maybe it's not the student's fault to execute that bad. It's the photographer himself who has a bad taste. It's him who like the crowded design with almost no space freed from photographs and ornaments. I said to him, I don't want to design like that, it's my eyes that can't see that kind of design to be good looking. But he insist me to help him. Being a good friend with him, I finally say yes to him.

So here I am, doing jobs I hate, creating bad design which I don't put my heart at. I just layouting like a robot, to meet the deadline he asked for. Not surprisingly, he said he love the designs, the crowded one, just the way he like.

I feel like selling my soul for money (which actually not really a good deal money)

Gui Ren

My father once said to me that sometimes in our life journey, we'll meet someone who make a significant difference on it. That special someone is called 'gui ren' in chinese.

In my careeer, it's Mrs. E, the owner of one of two biggest printing company in our city. I've known him since 2001, when I worked for my first graphic house. He is a tall guy with his signature 'batik' shirt. He usually came to have a meeting with my boss about their projects. For me that time, he was only one of my boss's relations.

Our second contact was the time I worked for the management consultant. One day I saw him sat in our glass rooms functioned for more casual meetings. I came to him to introduce myself. Before I did a baby scrapbook design for his nephew who befriends with my friend. Mr. E didn't know me that time, but all he did was talking to me as if I was very important and he handled me his namecard just the way he introduce himself to my boss. At that time, I know he is a good person.

And then I opened my own graphic house. One day my journalist friend called me to design his wedding invitation. It's unpaid but the design brief is very exciting. Furthermore, I know he is an exciting client to work with for he is the type who believes in professionalism. One thing unexpected was I met once again with Mr. E. My journalist friend has a quite close relation with him. His wedding invitation printed in Mr.E's company so one day we have a meeting to talk about the printing techniques. In this meeting, my journalist friend promoted me, but surprisingly Mr. E has been familiar with my name and my jobs. So, it's the time the jobs start to come to our graphic house.

In the first year of my infant graphic house, he is the person who continuosly give us jobs. Usually his prospective clients come to him not only to print but also to seek advice since he is famous for his keen eyes on design & print quality. Actually it's not included in his job description to make comments on client's artwork, he's only expected to print. But being an art lover, he just can't stand to accept a mediocre or sometimes bad artwork to be printed. He feels he has a responsibility to make the artwork better. So he contacts us to redesign the artworks.

But it's not only his continuously jobs giving that make me call him our 'gui ren'. He is totally a people person. Talking with him and you'll think you are the important person for him. Though he's not a type who'll talk sugary, we know he means it by his acts. For intance, he's not differentiate us, the fresh started entrepreneur with the general manager of big company. People who come to his office will be greeted by him equally.

Another reason why I call him 'gui jen' is because we learn a lot from him. Knowing him make us changing. From him we learn an integrity to make words happen. When Mr. E promise us something, he'll assure it's fulfilled. He manage the jobs efficiently and detailed.We also learn the way to charm people. He'll remember others's birthday and send gifts after he come from travelling abroad. He just told us that for his clients's daughter birthday, he made time to buy dolls for her. It's called a personal service. He has charmed the family long before by his gifts that has changed his status from printing supplier to one of the guests invited to the daughter's birtday.

So, knowing him is such a great opportunity for us. Before, he already have designers to help his jobs executed. We realize that our position can be replaced by new designers. But whatever happens, we feel very grateful to know and to learn a lot from him. It's a learning stage that needed by us as a fresh starting entrepreneur. And our 'gui ren' is there to teach us many. It's called a luck!

Stefan Sagmeister on Tibor Kalman

Here a couple of words about my mentor, not very
surprisingly, Tibor Kalman.

When I studied at Pratt, M&Co was my favorite design
studio and its owner, Tibor Kalman, my undisputed
design hero. I must have called him every week for
about 6 months, a process that got me friendly with
the receptionist, who week after week pronounced he
really is in meetings, and he will really call back.
About 30 calls later he did, we met, it turned out I
had sketches in my book for something he was doing,
and we were in contact ever since. A bit later he
offered me a job, under the condition I would stay for
at least 2 years, but I was so flaky and commitment
shy I could not take it. Three years later he offered
me a job again and I took it. It turned out to last
for only half a year though since he got bored with
M&Co and wanted to move to Rome to devote all of his
time to Colors, the magazine he had co-founded for
Bennetton.

At many important junctures of my designy life Tibor
was there with a wise piece of advice. When I moved to
Hong Kong to start a design group for advertising
agency Leo Burnett, he said, “Just don't go and spend
the money they pay you or you are going to be the
whore for the ad agencies for the rest of your life”.

Or when I opened my own studio (after he left for Rome
it was the only option for me, it did not make much
sense to go and work for my second favorite studio),
he said, “The only difficult thing when running a
design studio is not to grow. The rest is easy”

Tibor was not just very talented at leading a design
studio, he was also the best sales person I have ever
seen. Much of his energy went into making sure the
work got published as it was designed (I once saw him
sell a campaign even after the client had pronounced
his hatred for the design).

The reason it was easy to take his advice was because
he lived it. He was funny, loud, crass, fearless and
big hearted.

Create Your Life

We are creating our lives with every breath, in every moment, and through every one of our thoughts, words and deeds. We have a choice every day when we wake up, and we make hundreds more choices throughout the day.

For many years I was one of those people who perceived the glass as half empty. I’d complain and whine to anyone who would listen. I hated getting up in the morning and was never satisfied with anything. If someone asked me how I was, the answer was usually something like, “hanging in there,” “ok, I guess,” or a litany of complaints about how crappy life was. I was always angry and frustrated. I didn’t realize my attitude was dragging me deeper and deeper into a dark hole of negativity. 

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. That turned out to be the wake up call I needed. After going through painful treatment and surgery and being confronted by my own mortality and the fragility of physical existence, I decided it was time to take control of whatever time I had left on this earth and make the best of it.

I started to meditate every morning. I began to make a list of all the things that I am grateful for before going to sleep at night. I implemented some subtle shifts that have made a huge difference in my life.

I’m still not a morning person. I will sleep in when I have the chance, and some of my most creative time is in the afternoon and evening. However, I’ve learned to change my perspective, which makes waking up a much more pleasant and joyful experience.

When the alarm goes off, I take a few deep breaths, then get up and sit on my mediation cushion in the corner of the room by the window. I do just five minutes of deep breathing while visualizing the awesome day I’m going to have, then I do a short yoga sun salutation routine. (I usually skip the laying on the floor part when I do it outside.)

I shower, dress, then prepare a quick and nutritious breakfast – usually a fruit and protein smoothie, a bowl of oatmeal or a veggie omelet. I prepare my lunch and snacks for the work day: a salad, a pita or wrap sandwich, a small bag of nuts or trail mix, a piece of fruit and some string cheese or a cup of yogurt.

At this point it’s time to face the commute. I hate traffic, but fortunately I have a collection of great CDs, uplifting music and audio books. I’m not going to say I meditate in the car, as that would be dangerous, but I do deep breathing exercises and try to be aware of the little things around me.

I’ve also begun pasting sticky notes with affirmations on the dashboard. I spend over an hour a day in the car, and driving is such an automated process. What better way to help positive thoughts sink in to my consciousness:
• Wonderful things are happening today.
• I am always moving forward.
• I am exactly where I need to be right now.
• Expect a miracle.
From that point on, the rest of the day becomes much easier. As the ancient Chinese saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step…” 

How have you redesigned your life? Please share any tips or ideas that you have worked for you.

By SUZANNE LEDO

Life in Polka Dots

YAYOI KUSAMA, Avant-garde Sculptor, painter and novelist.

Started to paint using polka dots and nets as motifs at around age ten ,and created fantastic paintings in watercolors, pastels and oils.

Went to the United States in 1957. Showed large paintings, soft sculptures, and environmental sculptures using mirrors and electric lights. In the latter 1960s, staged many happenings such as body painting festivals, fashion shows and anti-war demonstrations. Launched media-related activities such as film production and newspaper publication. In 1968, the film “Kusama’s Self-Obliteration”which Kusama produced and starred in won a prize at the Fourth International Experimental Film Competition in Belgium and the Second Maryland Film Festival and the second prize at the Ann Arbor Film Festival. Held exhibitions and staged happenings also in various countries in Europe.


Returned to Japan in 1973. While continuing to produce and show art works, Kusama issued a number of novels and anthologies. In 1983, the novel “The Hustlers Grotto of Christopher Street” won the Tenth Literary Award for New Writers from the monthly magazine Yasei Jidai.

In 1986, held solo exhibitions at the Musee Municipal, Dole and the Musee des Beaux-Arts de Calais, France, in 1989, solo exhibitions at the Center for International Contemporary Arts, New York and the Museum of Modern Art, Oxford, England. In 1993, participated in the 45th Venice Biennale.

Began to create open-air sculptures in 1994. Produced open-air pieces for the Fukuoka Kenko Center, the Fukuoka Municipal Museum of Art, the Bunka-mura on Benesse Island of Naoshima, Kirishima Open-Air Museum and Matsumoto City Museum of Art, , in front of Matsudai Station, Niigata, in front of TGV's Lille Station, France and a mural for the hallway at subway station in Lisbon.

Began to show works mainly at galleries in New York in 1996. A solo show held in New York in the same year won the Best Gallery Show in 1995/96 and the Best Gallery Show in 1996/97 from the International Association of Art Critics in 1996.

From1998 to 1999, a major retrospective of Kusama’s works which opened at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art traveled to the Museum of Modern Art, New York, the Walker Art Center and the Museum of Contemporary Art, Tokyo.

In 2000, Kusama won The Education Minister’s Art Encouragement Prize and Foreign-Minister’s Commendations. Her solo exhibition that started at Le Consortium in France in the same year traveled to Maison de la culture du Japon, Paris, KUNSTHALLEN BRANDTS ÆDEFABRIK, Denmark, Le Abattoirs, Toulouse, KUNSTHALLE Wien, Art Sonje Center, Seoul.

Received the Asahi Prize in 2001, the Medal with Dark Navy Blue Ribbon in 2002, the French Ordre des Arts et des Lettres (Officier), and the Nagano Governor Prize (for the contribution in encouragement of art and culture) in 2003

In 2004, Her solo exhibition “KUSAMATRIX” that started at Mori Museum in Tokyo. This exhibition drew visitors totaling 520,000 people. In the same year, the other her solo exhibition that started at The National Museum of Modern Art, Tokyo in the next year traveled to The National Museum of Modern Art, Kyoto, Hiroshima City Museum of Contemporary Art, Contemporary Art Museum, Kumamoto, Matsumoto City Museum of Art.

In 2006, received the 2006 National Lifetime Achievement Awards , the Order of the Rising Sun, Gold Rays with Losette and The Praemium Imperiale -Painting- in 2006.

Kusama participates in various activities in other than art, such as photographic collaboration with photographer Nobuyoshi Araki, an appearance in the film “Topaz” written and directed by writer Ryu Murakami, and collaboration with musician Peter Gabriel and fashion designer Issey Miyake.

10 Reasons Why I Love My Hubby

01. He has the contagious laugh. And he does it a lot!
02. He is a a very funny guy. Being with him make me laughs a lot, too!
03. He hugs, kisses, and touches to express his love. It makes me feel loved emotionally and desired physically.
04. He cares about every little thing about me, from my favourite brand of my vegetable juice to my way of thinking.
05. He is an unselfish person. From the moment we met till now, it doesn't change. I always assured that I've been loved unconditionally.
06. He know how to act as a husband, as a son, and a son-in-law. My parents love him, and he make them laugh, too (he is very bright and sunny person!)
07. He is a very positive person who doesn't load himself with problems and failures. He focuses on solution and target.
08. He is decisive, uncomplicated, and straightforward person, my best sparing partner in making a decision.
09. He choose to change his behaviour to adjust mine. I know it's really hard, and I love him more and more for his effort.
10. He is the person who I want to be with on the last minutes of my life.

My Little Path in Graphic World

Author: Carter, David E.
Format: Hardcover
ISBN: 0061255742
ISBN13: 9780061255748
Trim: 8 1/2 x 11
Pages: 384
Illustrations: full-color illustrations throughout
Release Date: 1/16/2008
Price: $49.95 / $62.95 Can.

It's created six years ago, when I worked at one of the most influential graphic houses in Jakarta. As a new designer at the company, it's quite a challenge to concept the logos only in three days. Actually it's a big challenge for me who has only one in a lifetime created logo for my study assignment. Amazingly, my boss loved my ideas (I created 8 alternatives). The client loved one of them so I developed it further. And recently, I just knew that David E. Carter, loved it, too! It's quite an achievement for me personally since it's my first serious created logo I've ever made. Furthermore. It was created when I just a less experienced fresh graduate designer. So, I celebrate my little path in graphic world in this blog, to congratulate myself, to motivate me so I always remember to do the best I can. Thank you God, you always have your own magical way to strengthen me more!

Maybe You’re Just a Perfectionist

Just about any sports movie, airport paperback or motivational tape delivers a few boilerplate rules for success. Believe in yourself. Don’t take no for an answer. Never quit. Don’t accept second best. Above all, be true to yourself.

It’s hard to argue with those maxims. They seem self-evident — if not written into the Constitution, then at least part of the cultural water supply that irrigates everything from halftime speeches to corporate lectures to SAT coaching classes.

Yet several recent studies stand as a warning against taking the platitudes of achievement too seriously. The new research focuses on a familiar type, perfectionists, who panic or blow a fuse when things don’t turn out just so. The findings not only confirm that such purists are often at risk for mental distress — as Freud, Alfred Adler and countless exasperated parents have long predicted — but also suggest that perfectionism is a valuable lens through which to understand a variety of seemingly unrelated mental difficulties, from depression to compulsive behavior to addiction.

Some researchers divide perfectionists into three types, based on answers to standardized questionnaires: Self-oriented strivers who struggle to live up to their high standards and appear to be at risk of self-critical depression; outwardly focused zealots who expect perfection from others, often ruining relationships; and those desperate to live up to an ideal they’re convinced others expect of them, a risk factor for suicidal thinking and eating disorders.

“It’s natural for people to want to be perfect in a few things, say in their job — being a good editor or surgeon depends on not making mistakes,” said Gordon L. Flett, a psychology professor at York University and an author of many of the studies. “It’s when it generalizes to other areas of life, home life, appearance, hobbies, that you begin to see real problems.”

Unlike people given psychiatric labels, however, perfectionists neither battle stigma nor consider themselves to be somehow dysfunctional. On the contrary, said Alice Provost, an employee assistance counselor at the University of California, Davis, who recently ran group therapy for staff members struggling with perfectionist impulses. “They’re very proud of it,” she said. “And the culture highly values and reinforces their attitudes.”

Consider a recent study by psychologists at Curtin University of Technology in Australia, who found that the level of “all or nothing” thinking predicted how well perfectionists navigated their lives. The researchers had 252 participants fill out questionnaires rating their level of agreement with 16 statements like “I think of myself as either in control or out of control” and “I either get on very well with people or not at all.”

The more strongly participants in the study thought in this either-or fashion, the more likely they were to display the kind of extreme perfectionism that can lead to mental health problems.

In short, these are people who not only swallow many of the maxims for success but take them as absolutes. At some level they know that it’s possible to succeed after falling short (build on your mistakes: another boilerplate rule). The trouble is that falling short still reeks of mediocrity; for them, to say otherwise is to spin the result.

Never accept second best. Always be true to yourself.

The burden of perfectionist expectations is all too familiar to anyone who has struggled to kick a bad habit. Break down just once — have one smoke, one single drink — and at best it’s a “slip.” At worst it’s a relapse, and more often it’s a fall off the wagon: failure. And if you’ve already fallen, well, may as well pour yourself two or three more.

This is why experts have long debated the wisdom of insisting on abstinence as necessary in treating substance abuse. Most rehab clinics are based on this principle: Either you’re clean or you’re not; there’s no safe level of use. This approach has unquestionably worked for millions of addicts, but if the studies of perfectionists are any guide it has undermined the efforts of many others.

Ms. Provost said those in her program at U.C. Davis often displayed symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder — another risk for perfectionists. They couldn’t bear a messy desk. They found it nearly impossible to leave a job half-done, to do the next day. Some put in ludicrously long hours redoing tasks, chasing an ideal only they could see.

As an experiment, Ms. Provost had members of the group slack off on purpose, against their every instinct. “This was mostly in the context of work,” she said, “and they seem like small things, because what some of them considered failure was what most people would consider no big deal.”

Leave work on time. Don’t arrive early. Take all the breaks allowed. Leave the desk a mess. Allow yourself a set number of tries to finish a job; then turn in what you have.

“And then ask: Did you get punished? Did the university continue to function? Are you happier?” Ms. Provost said. “They were surprised that yes, everything continued to function, and the things they were so worried about weren’t that crucial.”

The British have a saying that encourages people to show their skills while mocking the universal fear of failure: Do your worst.

If you can’t tolerate your worst, at least once in a while, how true to yourself can you be?

By BENEDICT CAREY
Published: December 4, 2007 on www.nytimes.com

Grateful

I almost forget the last time I was very grateful to God about my life. In the past two years I kept whining and crying about how lost and pathetic I was. I despised my life, my job, even my lover. I blamed everything and everybody about my misfortunes. I felt like falling in the phase of postpower syndrome. My history always filled with success stories, fame & fortunes. I almost never experience any failures or being a looser. I never knew how to be in difficult situations.

So being very sterilized to problems proven to be bad to me. When I started my own company, suddenly not all things seemed wrapped in gold leaf anymore. It's very hard to run my own business. It's not only skill and good manners needed to keep it going. It's also need toughness, clear vision, discipline, etc. And all become too complicated and too much for me.

And being successful person before, I always have a very high expectation and a purely perfectionist. I visioned my soulmate as a perfect person with perfect packaging. So at the very first moment I assume him as not so perfect person that I almost decide to end our relationship. But my efforts always failed because I already loved him really bad. Everytime we fought, he always had his way to win my heart, though he didn't intend to do it. He naturally had his way to connect to my feeling.

But the time has passed really fast. Suddenly it's almost Christmas again. Beside all my whines and cries, our business keeps advancing and he has proved to be the best guy I've ever met in my life. Finally I feel really guilty being a whiner all these times. If everything around me become better and better as the time going, so it's should be me that has the false eyes, not my surroundings. God has given me his blessing constantly though I maybe the one of His most ungrateful person ever in this earth.

So from this day forward, I'll keep my eyes wide open to His blessings. I don't want to be blind anymore.